English Jokes - Witze in English 2

A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a
parrot on a perch in front of a pet store.  The parrot said
to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."  Well, the lady is
furious!  She stormed past the store to her work.

On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her,
"Hey lady, you are really ugly."  She was incredibly ticked
now.  The next day the same parrot again said to her, "Hey
lady, you are really ugly."

The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said
that she would sue the store and kill the bird.  The store
manager replied profusely and promised he would make sure the
parrot didn't say it again. 

When the lady walked past the store that day after work the
parrot called to her, "Hey lady."

She paused and said, "Yes?"


The bird said, "You know."   :D

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A little boy who said his prayers every night would say,
"God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless the cat,
and God bless the dog."

Well, one day the little boy was playing with the dog,
and the dog bit him. That night when he said his prayers,
he said, "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless the cat,
and I don't care what happens to the dog."
The next morning when they woke up, they found the dog--dead.

A few days later, the little boy was playing with the cat,
and the cat scratched him. That night when he said his prayers,
he said, "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, and I don't care
what happens to the cat."
The next morning when they woke up, they found the cat--dead.

A few days later, the little boy got in trouble with his Daddy.
That night when he said his prayers, he said, "God bless Mommy,
and I don't care what happens to Daddy."

Well, Daddy had heard the little boy's prayers every night and
remembered what had happened to the dog and the cat.
So, that night, Daddy stayed up until the wee hours of the morning,
determined that he would fend off anything that tried to kill him.
Finally, he gave up and went to bed. He awoke the next morning,
feeling grateful that nothing happened to him and went to retrieve
the morning paper and the fresh milk bottle. When he opened the
front door; however, he found the milk man--dead.